Care Bear mode
metacognitive tool
I tell myself that to enjoy the experience safely, I adopt an ultra-safe attitude!
I’d never hurt myself or anyone else, on the contrary I even make an effort to be more smiley, open and friendly toward others.
Not that I was an unpleasant person before, but I had withdrawn into myself during that phase of investigation and torment.
That helps me too with what I guess you could call social anxiety: wondering whether someone’s talking about me, or what they might think of me.
They had so much « fun » with that, blowing things up, caricaturing them, that I ended up at a point where I don’t even give it any importance anymore. I got so flooded with words or not-very-nice images coming from them, that I learned to live with it or not give it too much importance, and as a consequence: it seems like that applies to my own negative thoughts too
And I make an effort to look after my physical and mental health: zero meds (I stand by my choice 100%), zero drugs (that was already the case before), almost zero alcohol (I only sometimes take a sip from other people’s glass) because the after-effects tend to leave me feeling rough, even if it’s subtle. I do sports, I only drink water, I don’t snack, I don’t drink coffee, I even don’t eat chocolate anymore to avoid messing with my sleep.
In the same way I managed to control my seborrheic dermatitis 100% with the most neutral baby shampoo possible, I try to adopt the most neutral possible behavior day to day, and neutral doesn’t mean cold/bland.